Stressors

I was doing really well today, very productive and out of the apartment. And then I get hit with worry and it throws me off.

I have a 100 lb weight on my shoulders that isn't likely to go away until sometime in June. That month represents calm to me, a time when I'll be able to breathe a little easier. Kind of a crazy thought because Baby will likely make life a million time more hectic. But he will bring good hectic. I'm talking about losing the scary, tense, nervy worry that attacks me out of the blue. And I don't see that happening til June at the earliest.

I realize wishing something away is pretty futile, but it doesn't really stop my mind from going there. The radiologist called this afternoon checking in on my filter. Yes, it's still there. I hope it's doing its job. I tried to get a few nagging questions in, one being about the 12 week timeline they don't want to exceed.

Why is there a timeline I ask? The filter manufacturer tests indicate after 12 weeks the filter can become embedded in the vena cava making it impossible to remove. In an attempt to be frank she informed me that in some cases filters embed in vein at 8/9 weeks. I am currently at 7 weeks.

Would this be a dangerous thing to happen if it does embed there? They don't like leaving it in young women as there is a risk that any future pregnancy would put pressure on the area and affect me negatively. At this time in my life I can not see putting me and my little growing family at any more risk than needed. And that is a weird feeling to deal with. I've never anticipated having a Laura plus 8 sized family, but I've never really thought about the possibility of being a Laura Plus 2 family either. And it is just an odd scenario to handle at the age of 26.

I need something to distract me from myself and from pregnancy in general. It gets really hard to do because Baby is making himself increasingly more real and work has been prematurely taken out of the equation for me. I look forward to really getting back into exercising my stresses out. Nothing like training for something to distract a wandering mind.

Hey, we made it to 35 weeks :) Good job Weeb.