It's a Pillow, it's a Pet, it's a Pillow Pet Xmas

 Merry Christmas! The Bear went incognito as a reindeer for the occasion. Christmas morning was spent with Grandma and Abuelo Matteson and Aunt Kellie. We then crossed the state for a Christmas dinner with Grandma and Grandpa Randall, Jon's sister and bro-in-law and their two little girls Emma and Ella. 

 Santa left a great stocking for Harrison, he especially liked the puppet.

 However he was a little perplexed about the orange at the toe.

 These squishy blocks were a hit! Thanks Aunt Michelle! He also can't wait to take his new blue sled out. We're just waiting for some more snow!

 Lots and lots of great books for bed time stories.

And the most coveted and popular Xmas gift of the season was the Pillow Pet! He cousins had 2 each and even little Harrison got his own infant-sized one to cuddle. And of course it was a bear :) 

Tuckered out!

A Lesson from Giada

I usually hate the morning Today show, so I can't explain why I still watch it when I'm home in the mornings. But two things actually stood out to me this morning as I rolled around the floor with the Bear.

I learned;
1) more Americans owe a greater amount of student loans than they do on their credit cards, and that the country's total is nearing a trillion dollars (student loans)
- this came literally 5 minutes after I was perusing GVSU's graduate website. I was intrigued about the possibility of going back to grab a few grad classes in hopes to, I don't know, receive a Christmas miracle and get my MI teaching license (on a silly note- each and every time I write the word license I mix up the s and the c, EVERY time). Well, now that story makes me want to wait that out a little.

2) Giada (cooking guru) suggested baking friends Xmas treats and gifting the food plus the bakeware. I thought this was an awesome idea. Nice Giada. I still think her shirts are way too low-cut but whatever. Honestly even I'm distracted when I watch that show. Anyway. Harrison and I jumped into the car over his naptime and while I hit up Marshalls and World Market he snoozed like a champ. Now all I need to do is bake and take. (spoiler alert for those of you that read this and receive this gift, Merry Christmas!)

Oooops, I hear the Bear. That was a short afternoon nap. Anything under 15 minutes just doesn't count.

Naptime?

Harrison loved napping yesterday. Two solid 1.5 hr naps. Today....he is currently on try #5 for a nap. The longest one he's managed has lasted 20 minutes.

Oh boy.

On a happier note, I am on vacation til Jan 4th. Sweet. I will try to post a more quality update tomorrow.

A Very Beary Christmas

All he wants for Xmas is Bojangles in his stocking...

a warm fire to keep his piggy toes toasty,

plenty of tree decorations, 

a good book, 

and someone to love :)

In Limbo

Sometimes life is a country music song. You try and try. It fails. You pick yourself back up. And repeat.

Well here I am again on the repeat cycle. Monday I came home to a lovely letter from the state of Michigan...yeah you know where this is going already don't you? Yup. Denied once again for my much sought after teaching license. I spent the last two days marinating on the letter. Also that $210 that went down the drain. Also the much anticipated launch date to our apartment. Also the fact that daycare is expensive. Also the fact that I might be stuck at full time when I really wanted that halftime position. Lots of thoughts.

I called my favorite education representative this morning to discuss options. He does. Not. Want. To. Budge.

The strange thing is that he said he agreed with me on all my points I brought up. Yes I have my Masters. Yes it would be weird to enroll into a MI Masters program. Yes he can see that going back to NYC to teach an additional 3 years is a tall order.

So I am stuck in limbo. He has no advice for me. And he wont grant me any bit of grace. So here I sit, stuck.

Suggestions welcomed because I am out of them...

and wondering, is working at the level that I am now worth it?

A Snow Angel

What is this white stuff?

He just wouldn't wiggle those arms to make his snow angels! 

A little confused as to why I plopped him down in the cold!

He can't wait to make his first snowman with his Dad! 

Thankful

I am thankful for the little Jedi in Training and his dad. They are too cute.

We've begun to face the monster that is "sleeping" this past week. It has been hard, and well, inconsistent to say the least. After a visit to his ped and her saying that we really should get him sleeping 8 hours through without enabling him I've started up the old pat down and calm routine. Some nights its good, some nights it ends up with 4 visits + and bringing him back to bed with me.At times we do get pretty frustrated and just really really tired.

This past week however has shown me that my frustration is missing the point. A couple of key instances have occurred to make me reexamine my sleeping issues. A mom that carried a baby to full term only to see him slip away shortly after, a mom-to-be who suddenly wasn't, and a mom who found herself in the toddler years looking back tearfully to the baby days. It all added up to me to mean the same thing. Everything is short lived. Nothing is guaranteed.

Sometimes as I watch Harrison I think about another would-be baby. My own Peanut who was a baby-that-wasn't. A while before Harrison announced he was coming there was Peanut. I really think Peanut was a she. I remember discovering her on a Friday, telling Jon that night, walking around New York with her, telling my parents over the phone, making an appointment for the following week, teaching my classes with my mind daydreaming away. And then I was in the hospital and she was gone, as quickly as she came that next week. That one incident hurt me on a level that I'd never felt before. It was like sitting on a bubble of depression. Feeling like I could sink right down further beneath the surface. Family and friends kept me up, balancing on that bubble until I could feel myself resurfacing again. Sometimes I look at Harrison and think, are you Peanut? But I know he isn't. He always felt like a completely different baby. And of course he was my little bear :)

When we found out about Harrison we didn't tell friends until 4 months along. I couldn't help but fear he would leave me like Peanut did. To be honest, the entire first trimester I steeled my heart for another unhappy ending. Self-preservation I guess. I didn't want to "love" the baby growing inside. I could only bring myself to want desperately to protect it and to see it into the second trimester. It wasn't until those first flutters and that first ultrasound that I began embracing the fact a baby was on the way. And once I felt secure enough I could feel my heart open up and love just pour into that little boy. And the rest they say is history.


So when that annoying little monitor is crackling with static and blaring Bear noises I get up. And when I sit by the Bear's bed patting down his angry tummy, singing about ants marching along, I don't just remember these stories, I hear them reverberating in my body. And even as he yells and fusses I can crack a happy smile because he is here.

6 Month Check Up

The Bear had his check up bright and early. All went well, he measures in at 17lbs 9oz and 27" long. That places him at the 50th percentile for weight and 75th for length. Tall boy!

So we really like our pediatrician, she's very straight forward and knowledgeable. HOWEVER, she told us that Harry should be giving us 8 hours straight by now. Hmmm, kind of makes us feel sad. But currently we're pushing his bedtime back to 8pm as she suggested. We'll give it a try :)

In other news I no longer have to take blood thinners. 9 months post blood clot I can go back to being off medications. Awesome! In celebration Jon has made me a margarita. I toast to the blood in my veins and hope to NEVER have to face that again. Bottoms up :)

Call me Certifiable

I see that the state of Michigan has cashed my check for my teacher certification....now the waiting game. Duh duh duh

Watch out He Bites!

Yeah he looks sweet, but the boy has started biting. And. it. hurts. 

What should I do with a Bear that bites? I'm not quite sure that I'm ready to bottle feed exclusively. I mean, this might be my only bear. What to do, what to do...

Work It!

I do not have any new pictures to share when using this laptop. Sigh. Truthfully I haven't done much picture taking lately. WHat I have done is been working double duty. My new job as an ESL paraprofessional at a charter school here in Grand Rapids has kept me moving these past 3 weeks. My charter school comes with some sweet perks, such as;
- a "year-round" calendar which allows for several full week vacations throughout the year (including the entire week of Thanksgiving
- belonging to a Soup club which provides me with delicious soups every Thursday
- finding fun little treats in my mailbox like $15 gift cards (2 in 1 week!)
- having a firm time schedule (7:30-3pm on. the. dot.- and leaving at 3 is strongly encouraged)
- a fair hourly rate
- opportunity for before school tutoring at twice the hourly rate
- being able to add something relevant to my resume

Okay, a few things to get used to;
- NOT being a teacher technically
- NOT having my own classroom (all push-in or pull-out services)
- NOT being paid for days I don't work (this is a big duh for most jobs but as a teacher you come to expect those summer direct deposits!)

But overall it's going well, I'm enjoying using a lot of my old tricks and activities with the kids. It is actually a whole lot more diverse than IS 52. We have a bunch of languages and cultures that I'm learning more about.
I sent in my teacher certification application 2 weeks ago, last week I sent in the $210 to have it evaluated and now I wait for 30 days until I can check the status. Hold your breath and cross your fingers. IF this goes through I will be dropping down to half time as a REAL teacher and being paid double what I make now (thus not affecting the take home I'm getting currently). Plus the Bear and I will get to spend more time together during daylight hours of the week. :)

Oh, on the sleeping front, I'm happy to say we are going through a nice overnight stage where his wake ups are much less frequent thus giving us more sleep :) Notwithstanding, I still need to buy some cucumbers to help with these dark circles...

Lose All Baby Weight- Check!

Okay, I am pretty happy about this one :) I can honestly say I have no idea when and how much I lost over these past 6 months because I stopped being weighed by the doc. Anyway I do know I gained about 30-35 lbs over the entire 9 months. It's not like I've been ignoring a scale, but rather there really hasn't been one around me since my 6 week check up. And then I was still weighing about 10lbs up from my starting point. Well, Katie fixed the house's scale today and ta-da! I am -2lbs below my starting weight! Yay. The credit goes to baby walks, playing indoor and outdoor soccer and probably breast feeding. No credit is given to my current diet of whatever, whenever. :)

A Photo Montage of Bear

If you give a Bear a choice,

he'll elect to go on the merry-go-round.

If you let a Bear go on a merry go round, 

he'll want to slide down the big kids slide.

If you find a Bear in the woods,

He'll convince you to take him home with you.

If you let a Bear choose his favorite sports team,

he'll go for the perpetual underbears.

If you give a Bear some teeth buds, 

and a set of twinkly blue eyes,

he'll just demand more, maybe even a penguin!

If you give a Bear a Bear suit,

he will pass out!

Aunt Kellie is smitten

so is the Bear

Contemplating a move to a warmer climate :)

A Magic Bear Suit

Aunt Katie sent me a picture of Baby H last Thursday. It looked like he had been swallowed up by a brown bear, she bought him the cutest bear suit ever. And he LOVES it. Jon calls it his magic suit because once in said suit he almost instantly falls into a deep slumber, wherever he may be lying at that moment. Jon was getting ready for their morning walk and but Harrison down on his playmat. He came back 5 minutes later to a slumbering bear, hands up and at peace :) I'll have to upload those pictures soon.

Also he is now a 6 month old baby! He has tried the following foods: rice and oatmeal cereal, sweet peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, and butternut squash. He LOVES the carrots and thinks very little of the squash. Sadly that is the only one I actually prepared myself...oh dear.

So the bear starts a new adventure tomorrow. He begins day care at a center about 10 minutes from my work. It seems very nice, and I'm glad it's so so close. But I am still avoiding thinking of how it will feel to drop him off tomorrow :(

Yesterday I compiled ALL my paperwork, transcripts and such for the SECOND application for my teaching certificate in Michigan. I also added the rejection letter I got last year (complete with misspellings and my name as MR. Randall) highlighted and footnoted. Just so my friends in Lansing can understand more clearly that I should be given my certificate. I don't want to think of what happens if it is once again rejected. I am not destined to be a parapro for that much longer...

Also my friend Kathryn ran the ING NYC Marathon yesterday! She finished in style and I am so so motivated to make next year be my marathon year (for real this time). :) We'll see!

Missing Mornings

I know this picture is blurry...but I love it. This is a morning I came snapping pictures when I heard Baby H start singing his wake up song. I need to record those cute sighs and trills. Sometimes I find him playing with his little blanket monkey. A happy morning is. the. best.

This is the second day I will miss those first moments of a new day for the Bear. Even though I saw 23 and 1/2 weeks of mornings I can't express how missing them makes me feel.

Not many jobs allow for a 6 month maternity leave. I am really lucky to have had that.

So let's be positive. The Bear has been in good hands while I'm away. He's playing with his Grandma and Aunt today. My sister has learned the nuances of caring for Baby and did beautifully yesterday, even sending me picture updates of a sleeping bear.

Oh, and I have a job. A job which allows for car sharing to take place fairly well with Jon and I. Today I am trying a new thing of leaving the car at Jon's after work (3pm) and cycling home. I'm not sure how long this will take but I know it'll be better than picking Jon up in the evening.

So without further ado, I will leave my seat by the fire at Panera and venture the 5 minutes to my school. BEST thing about this location  is that a Dunkin Donuts and Panera are so so close. Sweet.

Run a Post-Baby Race- Check!

I did it! I completed my first post-baby 5K, the Alger Heights Halloween Run. I ran it with my sister while Jon and Baby Scarecrow cheered me on.

As you can see, I went as a pumpkin.

Katie was a little more creative and made herself a leaf.

Blurry Bear

We are just so excited that I finished!

Okay, I will tell the time, although a bit of an ego hit. 

31:08

Yay! 

Naked Baby and Other Adventures

I may laugh now, but I'll probably turn red from

embarrassment when I'm older

Working on my bald spot

Donuts and cider at Robinettes

That is one big apple

Touch

Dad has cold fingers!

Mom + Harrison = Love

The Bear wanted this pumpkin

Aunt Katie wanted a warty one

but this one called to us.