Buying Time

What a weird experience an amniocentesis is. All is fine and everyone did well through the procedure. Jon benefited from being blocked by my Doctor as she went in with the actual needle. But he did get to see it happening, we all did, on the ultrasound. So strange to see this thin needle poke through to Baby's home! I only could imagine it being like a giant water balloon that if you pierce it with anything it will pop or at least leak. Fortunately neither of those things happened. How does that work!?

So after we watched her suction out a couple teaspoons of fluid she pulled the needle and we watched baby for a little. Just to reaffirm he wasn't stressed, which he wasn't. Pretty calm actually. The tech was happily playing around with the 4D imaging and saying how cute he was. He looks way more babylike now with his accumulated fat. But we didn't get to see how much he weighed which maybe I don't want to know anyway.

This morning my Doctor called me with the results. His lungs are in transitional stage, meaning he just isn't ready for the big debut yet. I guess he made our decision easier. We'll simply have to wait a little longer for him. No prob. She has tentatively scheduled me for induction on May 10th, which is funny because that's my Mom's birthday! How sweet if they could share. Of course that means he'll make me miss my first Mother's Day! Oh well :)

The positive thing about getting an extension on Baby time is that I'll get to finish up a last minute project that I fell in love with. I am making some sweet fabric bookshelves to go up on his nursery. I stole the idea from Ohdeedoh website which has really sweet ideas. I'll post the pictures of that and the final nursery, long in the making, soon :)

Checklist

1. baby appointment- check

2. Diagnosis of Bladder infection- check

3. Diagnosis of Positive Strep B test- check

4. Blood draw to check heparin levels- check

I must say that the third trimester truly is the worst of the three, regardless of how nauseous I felt during the first bit. Ugh.

Let's be a bit more positive! So here's my happy checklist;

1. go shopping with soon to be Grandmas (!!) at Hopscotch and be showered with sweet gifts for Weeb- check

2. cancel internet and cable which in turn makes conversation and "real" living occur- check

3. being able to walk to baby appointments and hospital blood draws- check

4. gaining a couple of pounds (thanks to Ben and Jerry's being on sale I think...)- check

5. baby being tentatively "scheduled" for next week (maybeeeeeee?)- check

So, in the end the happy list outweighs the unhappy list. I think I can still be bummed about the whole strep B test, just one more thing to treat. Happily it is 100% responsive to penicillin, which I will be taking every 4 hours prior to delivery while in hospital. Also having a bladder infection when Weeb's head is already using it for a pillow makes life a little more uncomfortable. Oh I forgive him for that though, his comfort over mine I suppose :).

Wednesday is the big amniocentesis day, gulp. Jon will be with me and fingers crossed we will have a painless, successful fluid draw. The results from that will really determine the next step. Hoping for some healthy and mature baby lungs :)

Stressors

I was doing really well today, very productive and out of the apartment. And then I get hit with worry and it throws me off.

I have a 100 lb weight on my shoulders that isn't likely to go away until sometime in June. That month represents calm to me, a time when I'll be able to breathe a little easier. Kind of a crazy thought because Baby will likely make life a million time more hectic. But he will bring good hectic. I'm talking about losing the scary, tense, nervy worry that attacks me out of the blue. And I don't see that happening til June at the earliest.

I realize wishing something away is pretty futile, but it doesn't really stop my mind from going there. The radiologist called this afternoon checking in on my filter. Yes, it's still there. I hope it's doing its job. I tried to get a few nagging questions in, one being about the 12 week timeline they don't want to exceed.

Why is there a timeline I ask? The filter manufacturer tests indicate after 12 weeks the filter can become embedded in the vena cava making it impossible to remove. In an attempt to be frank she informed me that in some cases filters embed in vein at 8/9 weeks. I am currently at 7 weeks.

Would this be a dangerous thing to happen if it does embed there? They don't like leaving it in young women as there is a risk that any future pregnancy would put pressure on the area and affect me negatively. At this time in my life I can not see putting me and my little growing family at any more risk than needed. And that is a weird feeling to deal with. I've never anticipated having a Laura plus 8 sized family, but I've never really thought about the possibility of being a Laura Plus 2 family either. And it is just an odd scenario to handle at the age of 26.

I need something to distract me from myself and from pregnancy in general. It gets really hard to do because Baby is making himself increasingly more real and work has been prematurely taken out of the equation for me. I look forward to really getting back into exercising my stresses out. Nothing like training for something to distract a wandering mind.

Hey, we made it to 35 weeks :) Good job Weeb.

My Adventure with Diapers

I just got back from yet another doctor appointment complete with blood draw. Lovely as ever. Baby is measuring at 34 weeks, meaning he is a touch small (I am 35 weeks tomorrow). But the main thing is he is still growing, sweet. I don't know about me however, my weight hasn't changed in 2 weeks which is a bit concerning to me. I think he eats all my food because I SEE my tummy growing. I'm glad I never anticipated getting pregnancy photos because my stomach looks like it has been beaten up, splotchy with bruises from all those shots. NOT the most glamorous sight to have documented.

So the amniocentesis is scheduled for next Wed, eek. Pending those results the doctors will then act or not. There is no help in wishing that I could just be normal and wait for baby to decide to come out, that is not in the cards dealt to me. So, my wish now is that the induction will be a success and no cesarean birth will be necessary. I think I can reasonably hope for that .

To get my mind off all that I decided to jump into the messy, stinky and necessary world of diapers. Now we did buy two bags of disposables (went for the more natural ones) but I REALLY do not want to be dependent on plastic diapers. I have faith that I can tackle the old fashioned prefolds and maybe even learn to appreciate them....or at least tolerate them. I trekked to Eastown this morning to Hopscotch Childrens Store and proceeded to spend an hour starring at their options, talking to the helpful owner and snapping a bunch of pocket diapers together. I walked away with these:

6 Bummis Prefolds, 2 snappis, an Econobum cover with insert and a BumGenius with inserts. These are nowhere near enough to last a weeb for a day but I'm hoping to figure out which I want to invest in. Crossing my fingers for Econobum, which like it implies is the most economic choice.

I never babysat actual diaper-wearing babies before. I know I will need practice. Luckily Mousey volunteered for the job.

Snappi + Econobum prefold + Mousey =

I don't know if that would hold much of anything. Plus I think I folded it wrong. But it is a start and Mousey did not cry even once. What a trooper.

Shoppers R Us

I am up earl(ish) on this crispy sun-filled morning. I couldn't help but pass out a little on the early side last night after a day of shopping, relaxing, movie watching and pizza eating. I think I might have had a real craving last night, it took the form of Pizza Hut's cheesy breadsticks. I couldn't help myself, I needed them. So Jon being sweet ordered me some along with a pizza that I didn't really touch but he enjoyed. I gobbled a couple of the sticks and my tummy was instantly full. I find I'm either famished and demanding food or full and complaining about my stuffed stomach. Finding the middle point hasn't been my strong suit. We also watched a Single Man, which was sad but thoughtful.

Before all that though was the enormous shopping spree to Babies'R'Us. We both started off pretty excited about it. We were going to pick up the final "necessities" of the baby project. Who knows if these products are true necessities, likely not but it does get to feel like that anyway. We grabbed the cart and jumped right in, throwing thermometers and washcloths into the big purple abyss. Then the big guy, the car seat shocked me into $ reality. Ouch. Jon wisely opted for the one that carries a heavier child even though it was pricier than the one I was eyeballing.

Things got more confusing when confronted with the diaper aisle. I HATE the idea of disposables going from package to bum to garbage to landfill. Ugh. However daunting the cloth diaper experience seems I will stick it out. But of course the store only had g-diapers which I wasn't going to do, so we picked up one small starter package of newbie diapers to get us through, what a day or two? Who knows. I better get on ordering those cloth ones...

By the end of it all we both sort of melted down in those display rockers. Surrounded by all thins baby makes you feel like you must provide it all to not slight the baby! But what does he care really? Does he need half that stuff? Ugh. It's all very cute, and the consumerist in me wants a bunch of it but every other part of me is a little grossed out by it all. I hope we're done shopping for a while.

  Made it to 34.5 weeks now and going much stronger now that blood clot and virus have been put in their respective places.

I really need a new hair style...

Good Morning Sunshine

I got to see the gorgeous sunrise this morning as I lounged on the coach after Jon had left for work. Usually I'll stay in bed a while longer as there is no real reason for me to be up so so early, aside from taking the first shot of the day, ouch. But hearing the birdies celebrate the sun was a nice way to greet the day.

I also got to enjoy a second breakfast outside on my porch. Oatmeal and pink lemonade, delicious. And the people watching was fun too. A bunch of them were doing the fast walk/jog down the hill, they were probably late for class. Ah I miss taking classes!

After second breakfast I read some more of my Elle magazine, learning more than I really desired to about Taylor Swift. Then the sun got me moving for real and I went for a nice walk around Heritage Hill admiring the lovely houses and all the flowering trees (that unfortunately stink!). I'm trying to upgrade my walking to 2 times a day at least. This sounds weak but after a week of wasting away on a couch with a virus it is necessary to take baby steps. My muscles are really sad right now. I just hope they can be revived.

Today will be devoted to pre-packing the apartment. We will be saying goodbye to our little Grand Rapids space next week, sigh. For the best, for the best.

Changes

I am in a mood today :/ The following words all fit into it somehow:
*lonely *anxious *overwhelmed *thoughtful *scared *disappointed *nervous *bored *not-ready

That sums it up pretty well. After a lot of family time this past weekend I find myself back at the apartment alone and left with my thoughts on the impending date of induction. I find this date to be getting scarier and less exciting at this point. I don't feel totally guilty about those feelings either. How can I really beat myself up about something  I can't really control. I didn't ask for this clot issue to speed up the whole process, baby didn't either for that matter. Now we are both going to be rushed into beginning this new chapter. I wish I felt more ready to handle all this.

It hit harder when I realized the next time I would see my sister Kellie I would have little Baby in my arms....and it would never ever be the same. Change is such a hard thing to face when it comes to family. On one hand I want everything to stay the same. But after my own experiences living different places I realize it is an impossible wish. I have been equally happy/sad to live far from family as I have been happy/sad living nearby. It's the locations, the environments and the people that nurture all the happy times. And it is the memories of those cities an people that give me sadness when I am not with them. Such an unfair predicament. How do you cope with that sort of change?

A Touch of Grace

Jon and I have been challenged big time, well more than we expected to be, this last month. It has been pretty unsettling at times. Questions about health and safety have been preoccupying ours minds ever since I was hospitalized with that horrendous blood clot. Today my doctor called to tell me my blood levels have stablized (finally!) and I am therapeutic for now. No more bloodwork til next week. This makes me breath a little easier, good news for sure but still it remains an issue to bother me. As my tummy grows I get increasingly nervy about the possibility of a cesarean being called for in case my body isn't willing to cooperate at 36 weeks.

So now I'm beginning to give the weeb inside the expanding belly

pep talks and a heads up that things will be moving perhaps sooner than he wants them to.

 Seemingly out of the blue many great things have come our way this past week. Out of what looked to be a perfect storm of terribleness a bright light has broken through. These mini miracles include getting a sweet tax return back, showing the apartment to some very interested people (to get out of our pricey lease sooner than Sept), having a familiar and stable place to land when relocating the soon-to-be three of us, and becoming eligible to be on Jon's insurance (which sure beat out my lame one). All amazing things that could not have lined up more perfectly to reassure me that it really will be OKAY. 

And today was a GREAT day. Aside from a pretty rough night of being kept up by a dancing baby and a gross case of nasal drip the day turned out lovely. 

I began a project that was inspired by this amazing mobile at blablakids.com. 

My intention was to knit a little blue bird, but I believe he has morphed into an elephant 

This will become his trunk and head, I hope! I'm without a pattern so its kind of a hit and a miss.

Could the day get better? Well it did. I had this decadent Mint Mocha at Bigby's, handed the girl my punch card to pay for the overpriced concoction ($5 what!?) and much to my surprise she said "oh that's your free one! Do you want to get the bigger size?" I not only got to keep my fiver but I enjoyed the drink even more (and no I didn't get the bigger size, there should not be a bigger size than that monster!)

I decided to put my fiver to good use and stopped at Schuler's on the way home to buy my favorite magazine ELLE. I would buy these (the small pocket sized ones) when I lived in Finland every month and would read them cover to cover. So that's what I'll do now, move down to the porch, put my feet up  and read while I wait for Jon to come home.